KIBS

The other day I had made a post and unfortunately, My computer decided to reboot itself while my internet bombed out so it didn't even save a draft. Anyways, So I was meant to post awhile back but circumstances changed and I never got around to it again. But Ill start now. So I think a bucket load and I go through things very carefully in my mind. The 2 big things is family and friends. Why?? Because I tend to think about what I mean to a certain person, where its going and what's going to happen next. It's never spare of the moment thing where I just decide to just randomly sit and chat to you because I don't work like that. We can say Hi a million times a day but until you stand there and make a conversation with me. I'm not going to, Im already thinking ahead to what's about to happen and 9 times out of 10. Ill leave you standing there with a mouth full of teeth.
Why Im mentioning this is because I've thought a lot about my life recently. My life and my future. I have experience so many new things this year and made so many amazing friends and done some crazy things but I also think about the things I could of had or how things would be in different circumstances.
I have gone through many friends and I'm pretty sure its because of me and no one else but I just don't understand it. I swear its like Im the scariest person alive and no one wants to know me and who I am and even the people who know me well don't even speak to me. I'm a jinx like that and I just don't know anymore.
So a lot of soul searching has been done. I've made many decisions that are coming into place tomorrow.
Its called, The KickedInTheBalllSack.
If we haven't spoken in awhile and our friendship is at a stand still. I will KickYouInTheBallSack. And we will never talk again. No I'm just joking. I will tell you why and try talk to you and if things aren't working, then ill kick you to the floor. If you lied. KIBS. If you just used me. KIBS. If You want Pity. GTFO AND KIBS.
Why I'm doing this is because Im tired of fake friends. I hate caring about people that don't give a shit about you and You always helping them out but they couldn't give two flying fucks about you.
Some things make no logic.
I have one friend I've known for quite a bit of time and we recently started speaking again. We fight a lot and we have disagreements and we get angry and frustrated but she is very good at coming back and we sort it out quite quickly and we move on. We have each others back most of the time. Things are different because we both live in different areas and she has her friends and I have mine so sometimes we need to make decisions so that it suits our life better. But we do it and we accept it and its just like an easy understand of each other and what friendship is always about because its never one sided and we trust each other and we just get it.
The reason I'm telling all of you this stuff is because I've only recently realized who my true true friends are. Ive only just realized that these people mean more to me than anything else. When those people left me and got out my life, they made room for the new and better things. I would of never met and done the things Ive done without them and my life is so amazing. I smile and laugh everyday and we have many future plans and experiences ahead.
I'm sad I've had lose in order to gain so much more but This year has been the best yet.
So to everyone out there thats still reading this.
You are either on the train.. Or you running behind it trying to catch a wake up call.
You never know when the best thing in your life will walk out and you were to silly to realize it