My thought Process

I'm one of those people who think everything through before doing it.. I calculate it quite a bit before doing it and I seem like a badass who does crazy things but to be honest, I wouldn't do something that could be a risk to anyone and if i broke my foot well thats okay but if someone else did, I would never forgive myself.
Anyways the reason I'm telling you this is because before even writing this post, I knew exactly what I was going to say and what I was going to write about and after this post? I knew I was going to do homework and I will since I have so much.
I noticed the other day that people think I'm scary.. Hey. I don't blame them. I am kinda scary But I don't know why necessarily why everyone is so scared of me. At soccer, I had grade 8's like running away from me because I'm the scariest thing ever and I'm normally quite a happy bubbly person.
So I have a matric Dance date, I'm nearly ready for it as a whole. Just a few more things to organize. For vac, I'm paid and ready to gaan and have a jol with my incredible friends and all of this seems all to exciting but to be honest, I'm not feeling so happy at the moment and im not 100% sure why but its a whole bunch of things.
I want to be good enough. Not like I wanna be skinny, pretty, popular. I just want to not have to worry about the things that people always shout at me about. Hair, make-up, money, depression, clean rooms, friends, social life, school, marks.. everything that I'm not entirely 100% with. Its like a constant need from everyone to be perfect. 'm sure 90% of you have a list like mine because people just want more from you. You get friends and then you lose your marks. You get your marks then stop socializing then u stop working cause you socializing and now everything is just a huge fuck up because nothing you do is good enough.
So why cant people just chill and accept people. Big one for me. Huge one actually but I'm getting better.
Lets just say things were different.
If I was perfect, I wouldnt be me.You would probably hate me. And I would have no one.
So lets just say things were different.. Who would you want to be??
Would You still want to be you??
Because Im sure as hell sticking to my life, faults and successes.
But thats just me